Do You Have Enough?

     Some times, I have to ask myself that. It's not about possessions or money, it's about patience and understanding. Lately this seems to be my mantra. My youngest child has been going through a rough patch, she has depression and social/separation anxiety. Since December we have been going back and forth to the doctor and doing counseling. In the midst of all of this we have had to deal with school issues on top of that and trying to find the right medication for her so she will feel better. It has been overwhelming at times. It's made me question myself as a mother, you know, how did I let this happen? Why didn't I see the warning signs? All of those nasty little thoughts ran through my mind.

     As someone who lives with depression, I know how hard it can be to function on a daily basis. Never mind being a teenager and trying to find out who you are on top of it. I am not ashamed to say that I take two medications to manage my depression and anxiety. The medication is what makes it possible for me to function like a normal human being and live my life to the fullest.  I want that for my youngest. I want her to be able to feel good and start living her life like she should be. Not trapped in a dark depression that robs her of enjoying things like she use to. 

    Through out the many sessions I have gone to with her, the thoughts that ran through my mind is: "I need to have plenty of patience and compassion. This is going to be long bumpy road for us, but we will get through it." I always have to keep that in mind as I deal with the numerous appointments, melt-downs, and medications. Sometimes it is easy, and sometimes it is not. On the days that it is not I try to find glimpses of hope in her. I remind myself that having patience and compassion is a vital part of being a parent. 

    What keeps me going through all of this is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. As long as I keep showing her patience and compassion and love she will keep fighting. Right now, that in itself is enough for me. We will keep on slaying each dragon as it comes. 

                                               Until next time,

                                                      C.C.    

Living with a Malignant Disease

     I live with a malignant brain tumor. No it is not cancerous, but it will never really go away either. I had surgery to remove it back in 2013, the surgery was successful, then went through six weeks of radiation and a year of chemo. I go every other month to Dana Farber in Boston for MRI's and to check in with my neuro oncologist. They monitor me very closely because I am young and it is unusual for some one my age to have this kind of tumor. So, having this has put a lot in perspective for me. Each day is a gift, my children are my happiness, I appreciate my family and friends even more. Things that at one time would have been frustrating and upsetting are now not as major or upsetting. I have become stronger both spiritually and personally. 

     The down side to all of this is knowing that at some point the tumor will return. We don't know when, not even my neuro oncologist can say. I live with this now every day. I try to stay upbeat and positive for family and friends. I have my good days and my bad days. I tell myself that it could have been a lot worse than what it was. My doctors have all been very happy with how well I have done so far. That in and of itself gives me a small ray of hope that maybe someday there will be a cure for it. For now, I keep going forward and trying to make the best life I can with this that I have been given. I wake up grateful each day that I am here and alive. I take it one day at a time, one moment at time. 

    To say that I am not afraid is an understatement. I do not live in fear, I live my life to the fullest and to the happiest I can. I have become a healer and my mission is to help heal those who need it. In this capacity I know that I can at least change some one else's life. I can put things in better perspective, I am more tolerant and forgiving of others. I do have a better sense of self peace and that in and of itself has helped me to face this battle in the long run. 

     

Fur, Facebook and Snow

     This has been my life as of late. The fur part belongs to my youngest's cat, Onyx, he has a chronic upper respiratory virus which when it acts up it makes him very sick. The unfortunate part of this is it also affects his eyes, his left eye especially. Last week it got to the point where his left eye ruptured which ment a visit to the emergency vet clinic. His right eye had a small infection so he was put on clavamox and some eye ointment. Took him to vet the next day and it was confirmed that the eye was a loss and could potentially mean surgery. The surgery itself is going to be 375.00, and that does not include the aftercare he is going to need. So, my sister and I went to work, we put together a Facebook page and a gofundme account to raise the money. The links are below if you would like to donate or follow along with his progress and healing. 

     Then there is the snow. And there is a lot of it! We received over 30 inches of it from Tuesday into Wednesday. And there is another storm coming with possibly another foot of snow! I have yet to venture out into the vast land of white, simply because there is no place to go and the Mayor asked everyone to stay off the roads. We still have some snow to dig out of, and the drifts are piled up fairly high. I am at the point where Hawaii is looking really good at this point! New England is nice to visit, but in the winter it just sucks. So while I have been imprisoned in the house, I have taken to making small pouches for my crystals with left over yarn. I have several crystals that are my power healers, these crystals have a high vibration and if I need to bring them with me to crystal healing sessions I want them to be protected. So, I have been happily knitting away small pouches for these crystals! I will be posting pictures of these cute little pouches on the new Facebook page that I have set up for the blog. 


    So, all in all it has been far from dull around here. I know the weather is only temporary; all things are impermanent. I will be glad when spring is here, the time of renewal and rebirth. So for the time being I will be knitting and art journaling away the hours for now! Oh, and I am going to be doing a monthly blog post covering the stones and crystals associated with the month! Stay tuned for that starting in February! 


                                                           Until next time, 

                                                               The Crystal Catalyst
    

The following are the links for our kitty's pages:

Gofundme-http://thecrystalcatalyst.blogspot.com
Facebook-https://www.facebook.com/pages/Onyx-the-Half-Blind-Cat/1395494750754106

And the new page for the Crystal Catalyst-https://www.facebook.com/thecrystalcatalyst

Good bye 2014, Hello 2015!

     2014 is almost one for the history books, so let me pause here and take stock of the year that was. 


We made jewelry: 

We created grids

We created art

We hosted new friends

All in all, we had a great 2014. We made new friends and re-connected with old ones. We became a Certified Crystal Healer and an Alchemic Reiki Master. We created grids, collected new crystal beings and went even further on our spiritual journey. We found our Ancestral roots in many places, we healed, we laughed and cried. And through it all, we gained a new purpose. 2015, here I come!

Fear not, the journey is not an end, it is only beginning! 

Have a beautiful and blessed New Year! 

Yours, 

CC 

Having Faith and Gratitude

    When the holiday season comes around, it seems like everyone is counting their blessings. I am no different. This year I have much to be grateful for, and many more people to be blessed with in my life. Last year I was facing the biggest health challenge of my life: a brain tumor. Luckily it was not cancerous, but I still had to go through surgery, radiation and chemo. There is still a chance that it can come back even after all the treatments I have been through. 

    As I pause and reflect on last year, I see how far I have come. It was both my faith and friends and family that got me through the hell of last year. For all of that I have gratitude beyond words. Last year taught me how to be strong, have faith, and enjoy life. Granted it was not, at times, easy. I realized that if you do not have faith and gratitude, then you really have an empty life. My faith became stronger as I trudged to each radiation session in Boston. My gratitude grew with each clean MRI. I was very blessed to have a great support system in my family and friends. And the best doctors on the planet.

     It has taken me a whole year to get my health back, and I am still going to Dana Farber for MRI's. My body is still recovering from the chemo, my hair is slowly growing back in. My thyroid is a work in progress, and so is losing the weight. I am still a work in progress; and I am totally okay with that. I know what my future holds for me and I am ready to take on the challenge. 2015 is going to be awesome! I can say that because I have both faith and gratitude. 

Until next time,

CC     

Art, Healing, and Spirituality

    I know, the title has nothing to do with crystals. Or does it? Let's first look at the word art, if you create any type of artistic medium, you have an idea of how the process works. If you have ever created a piece of art, you know that there is a flow, a rhythm to it, the process becomes more fluid and free. This is where the healing comes in. For some, creating art is a healing practice. It allows the person to be free of restraints and create without judgment. It can be very healing and liberating to be able to express what is bottled up inside. 

    For me, the process of creating is healing. I love to do mixed media work, and when I can't put together what I am feeling into words, I do it in paint and pictures. I love patterns and textures, some of my crystals are just like what I put down on the page. Crystals are colorful, they have patterns and inclusions and textures all their own. They are, in a way their own works of art. A great amount of energy and healing flows through them, much like the process when I create my art. So for me, they are both connected and intertwined. 

    Art and healing can tie in with spirituality, in Tibetan Buddhism, which is what I am, the monks create beautiful Mandalas made with colored sand. They are magnificent works of art! Created out of humility, healing and a deep devotion to the Buddha and Buddhism. I work in a spiritual place when I create, it brings me closer to my spiritual beliefs. It is working meditation, a connection to my healing abilities and my deep Buddhist beliefs. Below is a picture of a mandala:

Below is a picture of one of my crystals:

and finally, my art:

 So, I say combine your art, healing and spirituality and create! Until next time, 

CC

    

Guru Games

    I know it's been a while, I like to blog when I have something to say. I don't want to fill you with mindless crap that isn't worth reading! So, here is today's blog topic: Guru. So what it a guru? The dictionary defines a guru as: 

noun

1.

Hinduism. a preceptor giving personal religious instruction.

2.

an intellectual or spiritual guide or leader.

3.

any person who counsels or advises; mentor:

The elder senator was her political guru.

4.

a leader in a particular field:

the city's cultural gurus.

     So basically, a guru is a teacher. Not a good teacher, or a bad teacher, just a teacher. Now here is where it gets tricky especially if you are one those who loves all things New Age or metaphysical: a teacher in these fields doesn't necessarily "need" to be well versed in their subject matter. All they really needs is: A-know the basic principles of what they want to teach. B-write lesson plans that are cohesive and easy to understand and C-price what they feel is enough to attract others. Now, I am not begrudging any one a living here, there are some wonderful people out there who know their shit, and can teach better than most college professors!

    So why am I choosing this subject to blog about? Well, I recently came across a situation that I was involved in, and it made me stop and think about how when we find someone that has all this knowledge and they teach us, they become that shiny guru. And then when we see their flaws, they are no longer shiny, they are just human. Now don't get me wrong, I did learn a lot form this person's program! It motivated me to want to learn, it got me in a space where I started to feel good about myself and my own healing skills. That in its self is not a bad thing at all! There were warning signs, small ones, that not everything was wonderful. The first thing was regarding my certificate of completion, it took several emails to get an answer and having some one else in the group message me to let me know that she had received my certificates by mistake! That was clue 1 that got my gears going! This is someone who made herself available by email, no matter what time of day or night, she seemed very well put together, and she knew her subject matter really well. How could she make a mistake like that? She was human, I let it go. It happens. 

    So after reaching out to a few others, they had the same issue. They were still waiting on their certificates with no communication from said guru. Finally, she decides to email the certificates, which is fine with me, I have taken online classes where the teachers do that now, and they are signed and dated, all you have to do it print them off. No biggie, why pay postage when you don't have to? Guru has a Crackbook group which her students belong to, one of the students has been posting that she has not received her certificates, and the posts end up being deleted. Clue 2, what is she trying to hide? If your reputation means that much to you: be honest with your students! You're human! Mistakes happen! Any answer is better than no answer and deleting posts on Crackbook, it makes you look guilty of some thing! I have not emailed her or really posted in the group. My inner guide says: "take the high road on this one, there are other places you can go that you can get more education on this."    

    What really put me into this way of thinking was an email that I had received: it was an invitation to a "special group" the cost was only 25.00 a month! I started to feel that she was more interested in the money than teaching or her students. Needless to say I deleted the email. So here I am now, watching what goes on, staying in the shadows and checking out other Crystal Healing programs. I am not looking to play guru games. So what to take away from this: gurus are just teachers and they have flaws too. Learn what you can but don't get blindsided by their shiny aura! 

 Over and out, 

The Crystal Catalyst