Do You Have Enough?

     Some times, I have to ask myself that. It's not about possessions or money, it's about patience and understanding. Lately this seems to be my mantra. My youngest child has been going through a rough patch, she has depression and social/separation anxiety. Since December we have been going back and forth to the doctor and doing counseling. In the midst of all of this we have had to deal with school issues on top of that and trying to find the right medication for her so she will feel better. It has been overwhelming at times. It's made me question myself as a mother, you know, how did I let this happen? Why didn't I see the warning signs? All of those nasty little thoughts ran through my mind.

     As someone who lives with depression, I know how hard it can be to function on a daily basis. Never mind being a teenager and trying to find out who you are on top of it. I am not ashamed to say that I take two medications to manage my depression and anxiety. The medication is what makes it possible for me to function like a normal human being and live my life to the fullest.  I want that for my youngest. I want her to be able to feel good and start living her life like she should be. Not trapped in a dark depression that robs her of enjoying things like she use to. 

    Through out the many sessions I have gone to with her, the thoughts that ran through my mind is: "I need to have plenty of patience and compassion. This is going to be long bumpy road for us, but we will get through it." I always have to keep that in mind as I deal with the numerous appointments, melt-downs, and medications. Sometimes it is easy, and sometimes it is not. On the days that it is not I try to find glimpses of hope in her. I remind myself that having patience and compassion is a vital part of being a parent. 

    What keeps me going through all of this is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. As long as I keep showing her patience and compassion and love she will keep fighting. Right now, that in itself is enough for me. We will keep on slaying each dragon as it comes. 

                                               Until next time,

                                                      C.C.