Living with a Malignant Disease

     I live with a malignant brain tumor. No it is not cancerous, but it will never really go away either. I had surgery to remove it back in 2013, the surgery was successful, then went through six weeks of radiation and a year of chemo. I go every other month to Dana Farber in Boston for MRI's and to check in with my neuro oncologist. They monitor me very closely because I am young and it is unusual for some one my age to have this kind of tumor. So, having this has put a lot in perspective for me. Each day is a gift, my children are my happiness, I appreciate my family and friends even more. Things that at one time would have been frustrating and upsetting are now not as major or upsetting. I have become stronger both spiritually and personally. 

     The down side to all of this is knowing that at some point the tumor will return. We don't know when, not even my neuro oncologist can say. I live with this now every day. I try to stay upbeat and positive for family and friends. I have my good days and my bad days. I tell myself that it could have been a lot worse than what it was. My doctors have all been very happy with how well I have done so far. That in and of itself gives me a small ray of hope that maybe someday there will be a cure for it. For now, I keep going forward and trying to make the best life I can with this that I have been given. I wake up grateful each day that I am here and alive. I take it one day at a time, one moment at time. 

    To say that I am not afraid is an understatement. I do not live in fear, I live my life to the fullest and to the happiest I can. I have become a healer and my mission is to help heal those who need it. In this capacity I know that I can at least change some one else's life. I can put things in better perspective, I am more tolerant and forgiving of others. I do have a better sense of self peace and that in and of itself has helped me to face this battle in the long run.