Tarot, Tarot, Tarot Everywhere!

     Hi! I know I shouldn't take long breaks like this, it seems like life is tripping me up lately! But, here I am, back with a sweet offer for you! One of the first tools I ever learned to work with was the Tarot. I was fifteen and I am forty-four now, so that is twenty-nine years of experience! Oh, and I have more decks that I can count! Lately I have been playing around and doing readings for myself, and I thought, hey, maybe it's time to go back in. I am especially loving the deck by artist Stephanie Pui-Mun Law! The images are stunning:

So, if you are interested, go to my Facebook page and message me about booking a reading. All the information is on the Facebook page as well as a button to book your reading!
Until next time,
C.C.

https://www.facebook.com/thecrystalcatalyst/

  

I'm Tired.........

I'm tired. Normally I would use this space to share my journey with crystals, Tibetan Buddhism, Reiki and all sorts of other holistic and spiritual stuff. And I love doing it, but sometimes life hands you a situation that just needs to be addressed out loud. I will start this story off with:


                            Many years ago, I was married. The man I married then is not the man I have to deal with today. We had two beautiful daughters and life was okay. He went into the Navy to better our situation, and well, it did but it didn't. As any military wife will tell you, you spend more time apart than together. But, I supported him and his choice and I was proud of him. There was a point, I think it was around the time after my Dad had passed that we grew apart and I was having to face some very real realities. He was just about done with the Navy and had no idea what he was going to do when the time came. I had to look at our two daughters and figure out what the hell to do. We were divorced in 2005, I took the two girls and moved in with my mom and sister and at the time my brother. He got a job out in Arizona and he went out there. So, for a time he kept in constant contact with the girls, which I encouraged, I never once told him that he couldn't talk to them or see them. The only sticking point was and has been the child support. At the divorce hearing the judge changed the amount and it was more than what was originally thought. Of course the first person he blamed was me. Now bear in mind, I did not ask for spousal support of any kind. All I wanted was enough to make sure the girls had everything they needed. I didn't ask the judge to increase the amount. I explained it to him, but, it fell on deaf ears. Now, let's fast forward to now. He has since re-married and lives in Canada. Left the job he had in Arizona and moved with no other employment lined up. He is currently going to school, which, hey, that's great! I have no issues with his marriage or going to school. What I do have an issue with is: two months have passed since I have received any child support, repeatedly asking him to at least email me if there is some kind of issue, having to tell the girls, "No, no money this week" which means no grocery shopping or getting whatever it is they need, he has ceased all contact with them, and I damn tired of plastering a smile on my face and walking through his BS because he still sees me as the bad guy!

Now, don't get me wrong, when I was working it at least gave me some money to get the girls whatever they needed. It was not my choice to stop working, but the reality is, working is not an option, ever. As much as  I want to go back to work, it would do more harm than good. So, okay, I have accepted that and moved on. I decide to do the one thing I know how to do: make malas and jewelry to sell. I am in the process of updating my online shop and using Facebook for my business. But to build a business takes time. I know this, I keep plugging away and trying to stay focused and upbeat for the sake of my family. But right now I am tired, tired of facing each day knowing that if I wanted to order a pizza I can't. Tired of biting my tongue and holding in what I am feeling. Tired of looking at my youngest, who has had so much to deal with, struggle with the reality that her farther is not in contact with us and will not make the attempt.

Yes, I am tired........  

Living in the Light of the Bodhisattva~2

So, now let's get down to the work. Yes, work, any spiritual path is work. Practising the Bodhisattva path is work. Waking up each morning and taking the vow is the intent. The work comes when you go out into the world and have to look at all living things as sentinent beings that need your compassion and help. Even the people you don't like. It can be hard, there are things that you have to let go of like ego. In my experience so far, some days are easier than others. If nothing I finally had that moment of enlightenment where I realized that taking the Bodhisattva vow was life changing. How did it come to me? Dealing with my ongoing health crisis. I had the option to take part in a clinical trial and that was the moment that I realized, "This is what the vow of Bodhisattva means. I am in service to all sentinent beings, taking part in the clinical trial is a way to give hope to to others who have what I have." It was a surreal moment. Some would have fear. I had peace. There was no fear, no second guessing, just a sense of peace.

In that one moment I realized I was doing the right thing and that I was truly being a Bodhisattva. Is my work done? Not by a long shot! There is still more work to be done, and until I am ready to leave this Earth, I will continue keeping my Bodhisattva vow. 

Living in the Light of the Bodhisattva~1

     This is going to be a bit of a departure for me, the next few posts here are going to be about the Bodhisattva practice and how I finally realized what that term means. First let's begin with what Bodhisattva means and where the term came from. So, if you have been reading me or have been following me for some time, you will know that I was diagnosed back in 2012 with a brain tumor. It was during that time that I began to practice Tibetan Buddhism. I needed to find peace and Tibetan Buddhism helped me embrace a more positive outlook on my diagnosis. 

     So, what is a Bodhisattva? In Mahayana Buddhism, it is a person who is moved by the greatest of compassion (yes the Dalia Lama is a Bodhisattva) to attain buddhahood for all sentinent beings. In this practice, you are basically, in layman's terms, praying for others to have happiness and the causes of happiness. You are setting aside your own wants and desires to help all of those around you become happy and live a happy life. Bodhisattva practice is not undertaken lightly, it has to be practiced every minute of every day. The Dalia Lama is the perfect example of what a Bodhisattva is. Even though the Chinese government tried to kill him and drove him out of his home (Tibet) he still shows compassion towards them. He would one day like to return to Tibet. 

      So, now that you have an idea of what a Bodhisattva is, in the next post I will tell you how I took my vow to undertake Bodhisattva practice. For now if you would like to learn more about Bodhisattva practice I will leave a few recommendations you can search:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodhisattva

http://www.budsas.org/ebud/ebdha126.htm

http://buddhism.about.com

Books:

The Way of the Bodhisattva: (Bodhicaryavatara), Revised Edition (Shambhala Classics)

For the Benefit of All Beings: A Commentary on the Way of the Bodhisattva (Shambhala Classics)

A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life 

  

     

Buyer Beware

Tashi Delek! May the year of the Fire Monkey bring you many blessings and much joy!

    Buyer Beware, you've heard that saying before right?? Have you ever thought about it if you purchase crystals? Probably not, I know I never did. Until lately when I have purchased two kind of pricey crystals that I thought were one thing and turned out not to be the crystal at all! So, today's post I hope will get those of you out there that buy crystals to really do your research and make sure that the piece you are purchasing is what it says it is! 

       So, my first OOPS! crystal purchase was what I thought was an elestial quartz. Above is a picture of what an actual elestial quartz looks like. Now, I will show you what I received instead:

Looks nothing like the picture above does it? I have purchased from this seller before and I was surprised, their crystals are top quality and I like them very much. My next purchase was from a small local shop and it was labeled as spirit quartz, above is the actual spirit quartz. Below is what I purchased from the shop, again, what  I purchased looks nothing like the picture. I am going to call them and see if I can do an even exchange. I spent 20.00 on this particular piece and after consulting with a friend who has been in this business for a very long time, I figured asking for an even exchange would be a good idea. 

So, after these two purchases I can safely say that I am going to do my research before I purchase certain crystals! Piece of advice: if you are looking for a particular crystal, especially one that can be "pricey" make sure you do your homework and really look before you buy! Print out pictures and either email them or bring them with you so you can compare! Not all sellers are out to rip you off, as my friend noted, sometimes the people that  these sellers buy from name the crystal that they think it is and leave it at that. And, like most people, sellers are going to take it at face value. My biggest take away from all of this: do the research, ask questions, compare pictures and check out more than one place! 




                                                                                 Until next time,

                                                                                        C.C.

Of Egos and Snot heads

  Many moons ago, I was a practicing solitary Witch. Hard to imagine how I got from there to where I am now: a Tibetan Buddhist. Well, actually it isn't very hard to imagine from my point. You see, I was young and full of ego and thought "I know it all!" in actuality I didn't. As I got older and saw what I was really doing I realized that being a solitary Witch was not all it was cracked up to be. Any one who is familiar with the Pagan community in general knows that some times there is a lot of ego running around. I'm not going to say all Pagans and Witches are ego maniacs, they are not. But I got to a point where I felt oddly out of place. I had been searching for a place to fit in, and realized that I didn't fit in anywhere. My last ditch effort was a very exclusive group, that seemed like a good fit. Until the High Priestess decided she didn't like me and I left on my own accord. So, I was going over these things in my mind and one particular memory stood out: I was taking some college courses quite a few years back, and I fancied myself an important "Witch". In fact my ego filled my head, and I may have said things that I wish I could take back now! I was in fact a snot head. I was running my mouth without thinking and without checking my ego at the door. Yes, I was bragging and not listening to myself. Now when I think back to that one moment, I cringe: what an egotistical snot head you were!

    The one thing I learned after being diagnosed with the brain tumor is that sickness doesn't discriminate. It doesn't matter what faith you belong to, or what god you pray to. So in short, my past wasn't going to help me and my future was very uncertain. I couldn't go back to what I was. After the disastrous "group" experience I was hesitant to go there again. I no longer felt like a Witch or a pagan, I was in a sense lost. I had to face a very scary diagnosis and I had to accept the fact that I was not going to come out on the other end the same as I was before. 

    I think the first time I looked at Buddhism I was not sure what it was about. What was the difference between Theravada and Mahayana? How do I tell my mind to be quite when I meditate? Do I need to meditate four hours a day? And then, the A-HA moment hit: You need to get out of your own head space and get passed your own ego to experience what Buddhism truly is. Everything that I had learned as a Witch/Pagan had to be left at the door. I had put it behind me for some time, so seeing it completely put away didn't hurt. The hard work was yet to come. After doing a lot of reading and research, I came to the conclusion that I flowed better with Mahayana than with Theravada. I was absolutely astounded by the Dalia Lama and started reading his books. Things began to fall into place as I battled the brain tumor crisis. Spiritually I was in a better space, and my snot head ego was slowly being silenced. I won't lie, it is still a work in progress, as we all are!

   The giving over of my past was both healing and therapeutic for me. I started to realize that I needed more that just spells, incantations, and ritual. I had to be present, in the moment and see  that moment. I have yet to find a Sangha, but for now  I am okay with that. I still have healing work and Reiki so I am not alone at all. If nothing, I have learned that if you do not get out of your own head space and ego, you will miss the bigger picture and life will whack you one to make you see it! 



                                                                                             Until next time.

                                                                                                  C.C. 



         

Hello...........Is there anyone listening?

Hello...............

No, I did not forget about you, life got in the way. Like seriously in the way, here is the condensed version:





                                 ~Moved from Maine to New Hampshire
  
                                  ~Was doing chemo in between said move

                                  ~Had to deal with the youngest's issues, and they were many!

                                  ~Had to get my life back on track which is not easy to do when life is in total chaos!




So, here we are now, and I am back, and oh, I forgot to mention in that little list up there, my hard drive went on my laptop and it took me about two months to fix. It wasn't officially fixed until I settled in here in New Hampshire. So I am back on track and so happy to be back! So let's dive right in shall we????

Remember how I stated in my first blog post here that this was going to be about my journey as a crystal healer and Reiki Master? Well, let me refresh your memory in case you forgot:

Back in December of 2012 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was on the right side of my brain and the pain was excruciating.It was successfully removed in Boston at Brigham and Woman's Hospital by a rock star brain surgeon and my outlook and healing were awesome. Then, we got the pathology report back: the tumor was not cancerous but it will never go away. It will come back, when, we don't know. I am under careful watch at Dana Farber (that is where my Neuro Oncologist is) and it is pretty much a waiting game. Every MRI that I have had up until this point has been clean, no spots, no issues. And then in May of this year they found a spot. It wasn't very big, but it was still there. My neuro onc likes to be proactive about this type of thing so he put me on six rounds of chemo, my last does will be this month. After September's dose made me violently ill, I decided to make sure that this dose was going to go as best as I could make it. So, besides all of the meds that I had to help I decided to be proactive and use my other tools that I had: my crystals and Reiki. The trick with chemo is your platelets. If they get too low you can get very sick. They have to be up high enough to withstand the chemo, and then it starts all over again. Needless to say my platelets were screwed after my last dose. They were very low and I was feeling really crappy, so I grabbed my crystals and started working with them on a daily/nightly basis. Now, I didn't sit and just meditate, what I did was every night when I went to bed I would light some incense and get comfy and for 30 minutes just lay there and let the energies of the crystals do their thing. I also did some light Reiki to help, and after about a week my platelets were up to where they needed to be! I have kept a written account of my sessions and maybe in the future will publish them. So, after a week of working with crystals and Reiki, my platelets are at 205! So, this is my work and I am proof that with intent and working with what you have crystals and energy healing like Reiki can work!

The key to this is, having patience. I am not patient by nature (total Aries) but with healing in mind I knew I had to work with my tools and let the energies do their work and not interfere with the process. 30 minutes was not a whole lot of time out of my day, and I look forward to that time at night. So, does crystal healing work? For me, yes it does and I will continue to use it going forward even after my last dose of chemo and to maybe even keep the tumor from coming back! It is a long shot but one that I will document as I go along! 


                                         So tell me, how have you been? 


                                                Till next time, 

                                                           C.C.